Testimonials
Collected from clients during Phase One and again at the close of Phase Three.
out of 5, from 3,982 reviews
“I haven’t felt a thing since March.”
★★★★★
Gary T., 44 · Tulsa, Oklahoma · Silver package, 2023
“My wife says I’m much quieter now.”
★★★★★
Dale R., 51 · Branson, Missouri · Platinum package, 2021
“They were very professional. The silo was clean.”
★★★★☆
Anonymous, 29 · Bronze package, 2024 · One star withheld for parking
“I finished in 2019 and have never gone back, which they tell me is the best possible outcome.”
★★★★★
Michael B., 46 · Springfield, Missouri · Silver package, 2019
“Worth every penny of my parents’ money.”
★★★★★
Brandon H., 22 · Silver package, 2025
“The Latin was beautiful. I don’t know what it meant and I did not ask.”
★★★★★
Ray W., 57 · Nixa, Missouri · Bronze package, 2022
“I’m not sure it worked.”
★★★☆☆
Kevin M., 33 · Silver package, 2025A response from the ministry: Thank you for the feedback, Kevin. Uncertainty of this kind is a recognised indicator of a secondary entity. You have been rescheduled for Phase Two beginning the fourteenth.
*Reviews are collected at intake, when enthusiasm is highest, and again immediately following the rite, when clients are most agreeable. Clients who decline to provide a testimonial are recorded as satisfied. Reviews below three stars are held for internal study and are not published, which is why none appear here.
Add your own
Graduates may submit a testimonial by post. Submissions are edited for length, clarity, and outcome.